Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I enjoy the company of your penis
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
