i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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