Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
