I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
