there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
