Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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