Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
