There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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