know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
