You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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