At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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