How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My balls are so social today.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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