2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
