My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
