I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
