Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
