Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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