bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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