No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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