Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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