Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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