I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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