So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
