So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
did you just send me my own nude
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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