judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
