Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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