definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
