these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
