We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
