I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
