He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
