I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
