There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
