Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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