i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
