i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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