I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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