I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
