He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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