So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
