Where is the hickey?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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