I wish my penis had an off switch
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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