Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
