You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
my poor anus
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
