ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
