Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
