someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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