Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
