she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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