Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
