3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
